Dad dragged because his wife is taking care of the baby

Members of a popular internet forum were stunned after a young mother revealed how her husband ruined her first night since giving birth.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITeA**hole, Redditor u/utjgnek48395848 (aka the original poster or OP) said she thought her husband could handle putting their kid to bed but quickly inundated with calls and requests for help.

Captioned: “[Am I the a**hole] because I didn’t answer my husband when he called?” the post has garnered nearly 10,000 votes and more than 1,000 comments in the last nine hours.

The original poster explained that it had been seven months since she was born and said she prepared her husband to feed and put their child to bed before going to the theater to see a movie with a friend.

However, despite her husband’s claims that he had “everything under control,” the original poster said the film had only just begun when she received the first call.

“That [movie] barely started when I started getting calls from [my] husband,” OP wrote. “I texted him to ask what was going on and he said [the] Baby wasn’t sleeping.”

After reminding him of the baby’s bedtime, the original poster said she had to assess the situation for herself – and was deeply disappointed.

“I checked the baby monitor… and could see the room lights were on, the white noise machine was off, and he wasn’t lying down [the] Baby in his blanket,” the OP wrote. “I texted him to tell him and he started calling me again even though he knew I was at the theater.”

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“He texted me to come home and cast off [the] Baby to bed,” OP continued. “I told him I was sure he had everything under control and put my phone on [do not disturb].”

“After the movie, I saw that [he] continued to call me for about an hour after our last conversation,” OP added.

Despite age-old clichés about doting mothers and clumsy husbands unable to care for young children, parenting is not a one-person job and requires full cooperation from everyone involved.

But the requirements are not always met.

Across multiple outlets – including Her Norm, Today’s Parent and Care.com – new moms have complained about unhelpful dads and unfair chores with all aspects of childcare, from waking up early to bedtime.

Although some of these one-sided arrangements are the result of shy, insecure husbands, others prefer to feel evaded responsibility under the pretense of not knowing how to care for a child they helped father.

“I was already in a great routine with the baby, and my husband pointed out that it was a lot more logical for me to deal with the things I was already good at,” one mom told Care.com in 2020.

“I’ve always encouraged him as much as possible to take on more childcare,” she continued. “But … he insists it’s best for our son to have ‘an expert’ handling things rather than someone who is ‘still learning and so obviously won’t be as good’.”

While these arrangements may seem logical to supposedly ignorant fathers, they often lead to precarious situations later on, just like the one described on the original poster.

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New mom keeps interrupting at the movies
Members of Reddit’s r/AmITeA**hole forum defended a mother who said she ignored her husband’s calls at the cinema.
SerhiiBobyk/iStock/Getty Images Plus

In the viral Reddit post, OP stressed that she had guided her husband through their baby’s nightly routines on numerous occasions, but said she felt her instructions were being ignored. Throughout the comments section of the viral post, Redditors agreed, calling out the original poster’s husband for being so ill-prepared to care for his own child.

“[Not the a**hole]’ wrote Redditor u/Lildiar in the top comment of the post, which garnered more than 14,500 votes. “Your husband has to make his own way about parenting.”

“They proactively offered to show him beforehand,” they continued. “I think the solution is for you to tell him he needs to take turns with you on evening routines.”

Redditor u/canadiangig, whose comment received more than 4,000 votes, offered a more aggressive approach.

“Offering is no longer enough,” she interjected. “She has to force him to do it every other night as once he admitted he couldn’t.”

“I know he’s absolutely capable, but if that’s his point then he needs the ‘practice,'” they added.

In a separate comment, which has garnered more than 6,000 upvotes, Redditor u/Ursula2071 put an appropriate label on OP’s husband’s shady behavior.

“He uses guns[d] Inability to do anything he doesn’t want to do,” they wrote. “What a selfish asshole.”

“That’s called malicious willful ignorance on the part of your husband,” chipped in Redditor u/claireclairey, receiving nearly 7,000 votes. “He didn’t know what to do because he didn’t want to know what to do — he wanted you to come home and do it for him.”

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